kitchen tales

Have you ever eaten baby food? No, I mean since you were a toddler, have you ever tried it? Well, neither had Ryan and I until last night.

We both hang out with high school girls and boys, respectively, on Thursday nights. It had been rather hectic evening, scrambling to get home from work, grab dinner and scurry to small group. We got home around 10pm. The night before Ryan had said that he really wants to sit down and watch a little television together at night and this concept, although totally foreign to me, is something that I decided I should try. My effort at quality television time lasted all of seven minutes. I think I was still feeling a little wound up and just couldn't sit still. And I kept thinking of these sweet potatoes that I had purchased a while back. (I couldn't recall exactly how long ago...) Hmmm, I thought to myself, I have got to use those sweet potatoes.

I pried Ryan off the couch to inspect the spuds and check for any sign whatsoever of decay. I am more than slightly paranoid about using food that is bad. He assured me they were safe, so I went to town peeling and slicing and dicing the sweet potatoes. I decided to make a savory sweet potato chowder in honor of my celebration of the deliciousness of Fall.

My first hint should've been the old sweet potatoes. My second hint should've been that the recipe instructed you to puree a perfectly good looking soup into baby food slop. My third hint should've been that nothing smelled aromatic and delicious at any point while I was cooking. But, being the self-disciplined individual that I am, I kept moving ever onward.

Just after midnight the soup had been pureed and was ready for consumption, at least until we tasted it. Ryan had assumed his position back on the couch in front of the television. I dipped my spoon in the soup and had my first taste. I honestly gagged. I summoned Ryan from the tv room and demanded that he try the soup. He smelled the simmering caldron and refused. I pulled the "I'm your wife and I've been slaving in kitchen" card and he conceded. He took a tiny sip and gagged just as I predicted. We proceeded to have a really good laugh.

Ryan noted that this was my first failed kitchen attempt which he really would not have been able to choke down for dinner. Luckily, it was midnight and neither of us was hungry so it didn't really matter. The ironic point of this story is that I got the darn baby food vomit recipe from an e-newsletter from "The Nest." Not familiar with it? The Nest is the newlywed version of The Knot. As in http://www.theknot.com/, the overwhelming, nausea inducing mecca of wedding planning. Blast you The Knot for sending me nothing but To-Do lists and emails about rhinestone bachelorette paraphanalia and fake Tiffany bracelets bridesmaids gifts for the past year. And blast you The Nest for tricking me into checking off "Cook a Meal Too Disgusting For Your Husband To Choke Down" from my newlywed checklist that I'm sure you emailed to me the day after my wedding.